


Royale With Cheese

by hottamale



Series: Pulp Fiction [2]
Category: Pulp Fiction (1994), 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Genre: Gangsters, M/M, Midoriya Izuku Swears, Violence, and it's definitely n o t the main point of this fic, but like, friends - Freeform, i know vincent and jules aren't like together together, i'll die with my shit, lightly edited, lol sorry i have no control when it comes to izuku and katsuki, meaning it's still got mistakes most likely, not gonna lie, they're just partners, they're pretty low key about it though, this is my favorite scene from the movie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2018-07-13
Packaged: 2019-06-09 23:33:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15278646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hottamale/pseuds/hottamale
Summary: He turns around to face Brett again, not at all surprised to see that Katsuki has taken a spot not too far from behind him, briefcase in hand. He already knew what was going to come next. Izuku gave them the spiel every time they were sent out like this after all. “And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger, those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord, when I lay my vengeance upon thee.'”





	Royale With Cheese

Katsuki bobbed his head idly, lowkey feelin’ the song quietly playing out the radio. He distantly recognized it as Jungle Boogie by Kool and the Gang. They were pretty aight. He moved his head to look at his partner, Izuku, as he spoke. “Okay, now what about the hash bars?” He asked without looking away from the road. He valued his Chevy Nova too much to chance a crash.

Katsuki shook his head as he chuckled lowly. “You’d like it there. It’s legal, but it ain’t one hundred percent legal--can’t just roll up to a place and roll a joint. Supposed to just do it at home and shit.”

“So those are hash bars?”

Katsuki nodded. “Yup,” He popped the ‘p’. “Breaks down like this: legal to buy it, own it, and if you’re the proprietor of a hash bar, legal to sell it. Doesn’t fucking matter if it’s legal to carry it--which it is--’cause it’s illegal for the cops to search ya. That’s a right the cops in Amsterdam don’t have.”

Izuku shakes his head as he laughs in amazement. That place sounded rad as fuck. “That’s it, I’m sold. I’m going and that’s all there is to it.”

Katsuki snorts at his partner. “‘Course you’d fucking go.” He rolls his eyes at Izuku’s responding snort. “Buy y’wanna know what the weirdest thing ‘bout Europe is?”

“What?”

Katsuki fiddles with the lock button on his door without looking. “Those fuckers in Amsterdam can buy a damn beer at a movie theater. And I’m not talkin’ a shitty ass paper cup kind of beer, I’m talkin’ in a glass like a bar.” Izuku whistles in amazement, eyebrows hiked in surprise. “Y’know what else too? Forget the fact you can buy a beer at a fucking McDonald’s in Paris, but they don’t even call Quarter Pounders Quarter Pounders there.”

“Metric system?”

Katsuki nods. “Yeah. They don’t fucking know what a Quarter Pounder is. They call it a Royale with Cheese.”

Izuku nods along to show that he’s listening. He purses his lips as he thinks. “They got a different name for a Big Mac?”

“Nah, just call them shits Big Mac still.”

Izuku is fascinated. He never really thought about all of the small differences to be found across the pond. Of course he knew it’d be different, but the fact that they didn’t call things certain things because of the damn metric system never even crossed his mind. “What about a Whopper?”

“Dunno. Didn’t go to Burger King.”

“Oh.”

“But you know what those crazy fucks put on french fries instead of ketchup?” Katsuki doesn’t give Izuku time to answer before he continues. “Mayonnaise.”

Izuku turns his head to gape at Katuski. He blinks, his mouth opening and closing like a fish in a showcase of his stupefaction. Because he could understand putting barbeque sauce on fries--hell, it even tastes pretty good with McDonald’s fries--but mayonnaise?! “What the fuck?” He finally manages to utter as he whips his head back to the road.

“I shit you not Deku, I’ve seen ‘em do it! They fucking drown ‘em in that shit. Fucking disgusting.”

Izuku wrinkles his nose as he turns into a parking lot and parks the car. “Ugh.” They both get out of the car and slam their doors shut before moving around to the back. Izuku pops the trunk and Katsuki is the first one to reach in and grab his .45 automatic. He loads and cocks it while Izuku grabs his, closes the trunk and does the same.

“We should have shotguns for this shit.” Izuku laments as he stuffs his gun into the back of his dress pants.

Katsuki hums in agreement. “How many are up there?”

“About three or four.” Izuku supplies.

“Counting our guy?” Izuku nods and Katsuki raises an eyebrow. “So there could be five guys up there?”

“Probably.” Katsuki moves to walk up the somewhat short walkway that leads up to the apartment building. He glances up at the building they’ve been told their guy was holed up in. It was a pretty shitty apartment building by Katsuki’s standards, but he supposed that it was more on the affordable side for the average person. But he wasn’t the average person.

Izuku trailed a step behind him as he moved to open the door.

Izuku fidgets with a button on his suit jacket, his lip stuck between his teeth as he debates whether he should ask or not. He groans to himself and decides to just spit it out. “What’s her name?”

Katsuki stops walking in the middle of the lobby. He whirls around on Izuku who stops short of his partner, barely avoiding ramming straight into him from his sudden halting. “Hah?” Izuku looks at him imploringly. He knew he knew what he was talking about. Katsuki grits his teeth and whips back around and continues walking. “Himiko.”

Izuku tugs on his sleeve and prompts him to stop walking. His face scrunches in a way to indicate his curiosity. His head is tilted the barest amount. “How’d her and Dabi meet?”

“How the fuck should I know? However the fuck people meet I guess. But she usta be an actress.”

Izuku’s interest is peaked once again. “She ever star in anything I would’ve seen?”

Katsuki shrugs. How the fuck was he supposed to know what he would’ve seen? “Prolly not. I think her biggest gig was starring in a pilot. She starred in one that became nothing.”

“Oh.” Katsuki turns back around and they both continue their walk to the elevator. Katsuki presses the call button a little harder than necessary, but it’s ignored by the both of them.

Katsuki taps his foot impatiently as they wait for the elevator. “You remember that Jin Bubaigawara? Half-white, half-japanese, usta call him Twice?” Izuku suddenly asks into the silence.

Katsuki nods as the elevator doors ding to let them in. “Maybe. He’s psycho, yeah?”

Izuku shakes his head slightly. “I wouldn’t go as far as to say the guy is psycho. Mentally disturbed maybe, but what’s the guy gonna do? Get a lobotomy?”

“Yeah yeah, what about ‘im?”

They walk into the elevator and Izuku presses the button for their floor. The doors slide shut. “You know I’m usually not the type for gossip,” Katsuki rolled his eyes, because honestly, Izuku was the most invested guy he’s ever known when it came to gossip. He could deny it all he wanted, but Katsuki knew the guy had a problem. Izuku ignored him and continued with his story. “But word goin’ round the campfire’s that Dabi messed him up real good. All on account of his wife.”

Katsuki turns his head to level a stare at Izuku, an eyebrow raised in question. “What’d he do, fuck her?”

“Nah, nothing that bad.” Izuku waves him off.

Katsuki scrunches his eyebrow in confusion. What could be bad enough to get fucked up, but not bad enough to not get as fucked up? Where was the line to toe? “The fuck he do then?”

“Gave her a foot massage.”

“A foot massage.” Katsuki deadpanned.

Izuku nodded. “Yup.”

“Just a foot massage?” Katsuki had to be sure he heard his partner right. Because this dude really got fucked up over a goddamn foot massage? What the fuck.

“Yup.” Izuku nodded again, apparently seeing nothing wrong with that sort of logic.

“Well, what’d Dabi do?”

“Sent some guys to his apartment and had his ass hauled over the rail of his patio. There was this greenhouse glass shit at the bottom, yeah? Well, Jin fell through that. Apparently he’s developed a bit of a speech impediment.”

“Well that’s a fucking shame.” The doors to the elevator dinged again as they opened a second time, and both Katsuki and Izuku pushed their way through and into the hallway. “Well, I mean, I guess he had it comin’. You just don’t go out givin’ married chicks fuckin’ foot massages.”

Izuku raised a brow in question. “You don’t think he overreacted?” Oh, so maybe he did see something wrong with that kind of logic.

“I mean, shit,” Katsuki started, “Jin probably wasn’t expecting to be shoved off his balcony, but he had to have expected something.”

“Kacchan, a foot massage doesn’t mean shit. I give my mom a foot massage.”

Katsuki shrugged, suddenly feeling defensive on his stance on the matter. “He put his hands on his new wife in a familiar way. Is it as bad as eatin’ her out? Nah, but it’s in the same fucking ballpark.”

Izuku came to a halt and stuck his arm out so that it struck Katsuki across the chest to stop him as well. He turned to address Katsuki, face scrunched in concerned confusion. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Giving oral and giving a foot massage aren’t even near the same thing.”

“Ya got ears Deku? I said the same fucking ballpark.”

Izuku shook his head, obstinate. “No it’s not Kacchan. I don’t know, maybe your methods are different than mine, but it’s literally nowhere near the same damn thing. Touching his wife’s feet and eating her out aren’t anywhere near the same. Not the same ballpark, not even the same league--hell, it’s not even the same sport. Foot massages don’t mean shit.”

“Well, have you ever given a foot massage?” Katsuki shot back, indignant with his chin jutted out in defiance.

Izuku sputtered for a moment. Because truly, Katsuki already knew the answer to that. “Look, don’t be comin’ to me about giving foot massages. I’m the foot-fucking-master.”

“Given a lot of ‘em?” Katsuki asked, a smug grin tugging on his lips.

“Got my technique down pat. Tickle feet is a thing of the past.”

Katsuki snorts. “You ever given one to a guy?”

Izuku stares blandly at Katsuki before turning to move again. “Don’t be a dumbass Kacchan. I gave you one two days ago.”

Katsuki snickers. Yeah, he remembers two nights ago like it just happened this morning. Shit was good stuff. “Still think it means nothing?”

“Yeah, when it’s between people who don’t have any attraction towards each other whatsoever. So there, now you know.” They both stop in front of apartment number forty nine, conversation officially dropped in order to get to the reason why they were in the shitty apartment building to begin with. “What time is it?” Izuku whispers.

Katsuki checks his watch. “Seven twenty two in the morning.”

Izuku hums lowly. “It’s not quite time yet. Let’s hang back a bit.” Katsuki nods and they both move a bit away from the door, their conversation turning whispered. Izuku turns to face Katsuki. “Look, that doesn’t mean Dabi was in the right for having Jin tossed over his balcony into a glass house and messing up the way he speaks. That’s just not right. He do that to me? He better make sure I’m paralyzed because I might have to kill a guy.”

Katsuki sighs. He gets it, he really does, but he does also see get why Dabi would pull a stunt like that--if he even did. It’s a little unprecedented, but hey that’s not his problem at the moment. “Not saying I agree with ‘im. Just sayin’ that you’re sayin’ a foot massage doesn’t mean shit and I’m sayin’ it does. We’ve given each other plenty of foot massages, and that doesn’t change the fact that we still got down and dirty afterwards. We act like they don’t mean shit when they do, and that’s what’s so great about ‘em. It’s an intimate thing that nobody’s talkin’ bout, but I know, and Dabi knows, which is why he did what he did. That’s his fuckin’ wife, he ain’t gonna have a sense of humor ‘bout that shit.”

Izuku nodded his head thoughtfully. “I’ll think on it. But for now, let’s get in character.”

“Must be somethin’ ‘bout Himiko Toga.” Katsuki mused.

Izuku side eyed him. “Why you so interested in Dabi’s wife?”

Katsuki sighs. “Dabi’s leavin’ for Florida and wants me to take care of her.”

Izuku scrunches his face in confusion and makes a gun with his fingers and points it to his temple. “Take care of her?” He questions.

“No you fucking idiot!” Katuski nearly yells, but stops himself just in time. “Like, to fucking dinner and shit. Don’t let ‘er get lonely or somethin’.”

Izuku looked at Katsuki like he’d grown a second head. Katsuki frowned and crossed his arms over his chest. “Like, on a date?” Izuku asked slowly.

“Don’t be a fucking deku, Deku. It’s just a friendly platonic night out.”

“Yeah… Alright then.” The two of them move back to the apartment, but instead of waiting in front of the door doing nothing this time, Izuku brings his fist up and knocks. There’s a slight pause before it opens and they both bulldoze their way into the room. “Hey kids.” Izuku greets, already in character as per usual.

Both Izuku and Katsuki do a quick survey of the room, only finding their target, Denki, and three other nameless losers in the room. “How’re you boys doing?” Izuku asks, only to be answered with silence. He strolls up to the table stationed in the middle of the room. There was just enough space to the side of it for a couch to be set up against the wall. Katsuki quietly edges his way around Izuku, allowing him to do all of the talking. He was more of an action man than a talking man. He’d let Izuku handle that. “Am I trippin’ or did I ask you a question.” He asks the man sitting at the table, Brett, with a slow blink.

“We’re doin’ okay.” Brett answers, a bit uncertain.

“Do you know who we are?” Izuku asks.

Brett shakes his head. “No.”

“We’re associates of your business partner, Dabi. You do remember Dabi, don’t you?” Izuku sighs to himself when he doesn’t get an answer. “I’m gonna take a shot in the dark here and assume you’re Brett. Right?”

Brett nods in confirmation. “I’m Brett.”

“Yup, I thought so.” Izuku continues. “Well you remember Dabi, don’t you Brett?”

“I remember him.”

Izuku smiles and nods. “Good on you.” He looks down at the food in Brett’s hand and his smile turns a bit apologetic. “Looks like me and Kacchan caught you guys at breakfast, sorry ‘bout that. What’cha guys eating?”

Brett stares down at his burger then back up at Izuku as if he’s contemplating what to say. “Hamburgers.”

“What kind?”

“Cheeseburgers.” Izuku idly wonders why he didn’t just say that in the first place, but decides against pointing that out. It was moot point and didn’t mean shit anyway.

He shakes his head and stands directly in front of the table. “I meant where did you get them? Jack-in-the-Box, McDonald’s?”

Brett makes an ‘o’ with his mouth in understanding before providing the burger type. “Big Kahuna Burger.”

“Big Kahuna Burger!” Izuku exclaims in delight. “That’s that Hawaiian burger place. I’ve heard they’re pretty good. Haven’t had the chance to try them myself.”

“Yeah, they’re pretty good.”

“Mind if I try a bite of one of yours?” Izuku asks, eyeing Brett with a silent dare. Brett shakes his head ‘no’, and gestures for Izuku to take one. “This is yours, right?” Izuku asks, just to make sure. He didn’t want to take a bite of the wrong one--even if he had no plans of keeping Brett alive for longer than he needed to talk to him. Brett nods and Izuku picks up the burger from where it sat in front of Brett and takes a hearty bite out of it.

He nods in approval as he chews, eyes shining with delight. It was actually pretty fucking good. “Mhmm, this is a tasty burger.” He appraises. “Kacchan, you ever have a Big Kahuna Burger before?” He asks his partner who’s been watching the entire exchange from the kitchen.

He shakes his head. “Nah.”

“You want a bite? They’re pretty good.”

“I’ll pass, thanks.”

Izuku shrugs. “Suit yourself.” He turns back to Brett. “Usually I can’t get ahold of a burger seeing as my significant other is always making me eat in. But I do enjoy a tasty burger. You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in France?”

Brett shakes his head. “No.”

“Tell him Kacchan.”

“Royale with Cheese.” He drawels lazily with no interest in Izuku’s toying conversation.

“You know why they call it that?”

Brett frowns and shrugs. He shakes his head as he thinks and when he answers, it’s with hesitance. He doesn’t think that his answer might have that chance at being right. “Because of the metric system?”

Izuku clucks his tongue in surprise. “Check out the big brains on Brett! You’re a smart motherfucker, that’s right. The metric system.” He points to the cup that sits idly by the cheeseburger wrapper. “What’s that?”

“Sprite.”

Izuku hums. “Mind if I take a sip of your delicious beverage to wash this down?”

“Sure.”

Izuku takes the cup and takes a long sip, enough to have the air catch in the straw and leave a rattle sound come out of it due to the ice. He sets the cup back down with a refreshed sigh. “Hits the spot.” He turns away from Brett to address the man lying down on the couch to the right of him. “You, Flock of Seagulls, you know what we’re here for?” ‘Flock of Seagulls’ nods his head yes. “Then why don’t you tell my boy here, Kacchan, where you hid the case.”

The nervous looking boy Izuku pondered must have opened the door, Denki, if Izuku was remembering right--don’t mind him, he’s pretty bad at remembering names--spoke up. “It’s under the be--”

Izuku whirled around to face Denki, face immediately closing and transforming into something hard, something authoritative. “I don’t remember asking you a goddamn thing.” He watches Denki shut his mouth and sink into the corner he’d been standing in. He turns back to the ‘Flock of Seagulls’ man. “You were saying?” He’s back to his normal disposition, and it gives everyone in the room but Katsuki a whiplash effect. Katsuki chuckles lightly to himself and pokes around in the cabinets a bit more.

“It’s under the bed.” ‘Flock of Seagulls’ finally speaks, and Katsuki immediately moves to open the bottom cabinet and pull the pots and pans away to get to where he needs to with a clink. He pulls out a black snap briefcase and places it on the counter with a light thud. He moves to unlock it, his thumb too large for the small numerical lock on the case. He eventually gets the correct numbers to align and opens the briefcase.

Izuku looks back to Katsuki. “We happy?” Katsuki doesn’t answer, transfixed at the case’s contents. “Kacchan! Are we happy?” He tries again. Katsuki looks up this time and shuts the case with a nod.

“We’re happy.”

Brett turns to look at Katsuki and then back at Izuku. “Look, I got his name, Kacchan--”

“That’s Katsuki to you, bitch.” Katsuki cuts him off, and Brett takes it all in stride.

“--Katsuki, but I didn’t catch yours.”

“The name’s Izuku, and you’re not talkin’ your way out of this.”

Brett, however, continues to badger on with his attempt at appeasement. “I just want you to know how sorry we are that things got so fucked up with us and Mr. Dabi. When we entered into this agreement, we only had the best of intentions--”

Izuku interrupts Brett by pulling out his gun, pointing it at ‘Flock of Seagulls’ and pulling the trigger three times. ‘Flock of Seagulls’ is instantly dead, and Brett is left speechless while Katsuki smirks. Izuku deftly tucks his gun back into the waist of his pants. “I’m sorry, did that break your concentration? I didn’t mean to do that. Continue, please.”

Brett opens his mouth to continue, but the only thing he manages to do is gape his mouth open and shut like a fish out of water. He’s terrified. “Oh? You were through anyway? Alright, well allow me to retort. What does Dabi look like?” Brett is still gaping like a fish and Izuku has run out of patience, his usually tempered temper rising to the surface as he suddenly flips the table, effectively leaving nothing to stand between him and Brett as he interrogates him. “What country are you from?” He yells.

This shocks Brett into finally vocalizing, though it still leaves much to be desired. “W-What?” He stutters, confusion now mixing in with his fear.

“‘What’ ain’t no country I’ve ever heard of; they speak English in ‘What’?”

Brett is now beyond terrified, he’s petrified. What the fuck is the right answer to all of this? “What?” He asks again, unelegently.

“English, motherfucker, do you speak it?!” Izuku snaps.

Brett is shaking, arms coming up to instinctively block his face. “Yes!” He finally manages.

“Then you understand what I’m saying.”

“Yes!”

Izuku nods. “Now describe what Dabi looks like!”

“What?” Brett backtracks.

Izuku pulls his gun back out and shoves it in Brett’s face. “Say ‘what’ again! Say! ‘What’! Again! I dare you, I double dare you motherfucker, say ‘what’ one more goddamn time!”

“Well--he’s...he’s scarred!” Brett finally manages. Izuku nods at him to continue. “...and...and he’s got blue eyes!”

“Does he look like a bitch?”

“What?” Brett instinctively asks. Izuku and Katsuki meet eyes for just a second before Izuku points his gun at Brett’s right shoulder and shoots. Brett screams and clutches onto the wound. He’s wheezing through his teeth as he tries to mitigate the blood loss. “Does he look. Like. A. Bitch?” Izuku reiterates, stopping to heavily punctuate his sentence.

“No!” Brett yells back, desperate to just end this entire ordeal already.

“Then why did you try to screw him like one?” Izuku asks, and Brett shakes his head ‘no’, so Izuku plows on. “Yes you did! Ya tried to screw ‘im. You ever read the Bible, Brett?” Izuku asks, already knowing his answer. Most sane people didn’t read it for fun, and to be honest, neither did he. In fact, it was only this one verse that he had memorised. But don’t tell the kids that.

“Yes.” He ignores his surprise that Brett does indeed read the bible. Or maybe he was just saying that to try and appease him. Either way it doesn’t matter.

Izuku turns around and paces back by the door, “I have this passage memorized that I feel seems appropriate for this situation: Ezekiel 25:17 ‘The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and goodwill, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's’ keeper and the finder of lost children.” He turns around to face Brett again, not at all surprised to see that Katsuki has taken a spot not too far from behind Brett, briefcase in hand. He already knew what was going to come next. Izuku gave them the spiel every time they were sent out like this after all. “And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger, those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord, when I lay my vengeance upon thee.'”

Izuku raises his gun at the same time Katsuki does. Brett, upon realizing what was happening, began to scream as the two of them released a torrent of bullets into him. Denki cringed and covered his ears as he tried to disappear into the corner.

It wasn’t until they had emptied their load into Brett, now deceased, that they put their guns down.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I like how I told ya'll this was gonna take a while and then I come out and post the next part like two days later lmao  
> Why'd I go and make a liar out of myself :(
> 
> I'm gonna chalk it up to the fact that this is my favorite scene next to the "dead n**** storage" scene.
> 
> Alright, I'll see you in the next installment *waves* hasta la vista


End file.
